Liberate My Mind
by Curve-fast-rise-drop-in-out
Summary: James sexually assaulted not raped Bella, who becomes introverted. Much like the catatonic Bella of NM, but angrier, when Charlie is at his wits end and has no idea what to do, he calls in a psychiatrist. Edward Cullen. OOC Canon couples duh
1. What He's Done

"_Stay the hell away from James!" I screamed as he backed me into a wall._

_He snickered, the guy freaking _laughed _at the act of cruelty he was about to commit, "Belllla, you're mad…I'm not going to do anything that'll hurt you, much." He vaulted over the couch that had kept the precious space between us while I attempted to avoid his advances. _

_I wanted to crawl away and die, the day HE nearly..I almost lost…even in my mind I couldn't begin to explain to myself how much it freaked me out, the place every single person is safe, their own mind, I wasn't. I could recall every way he had touched me, every time I closed my eyes I remembered what James had done._

_Every time a friend (or unfriend, as I call them now) that was a guy hugged me, I only felt him, every time my father smiled, I saw his sick, twisted grin, and shrank away. I was only lucky that one of the Quilete indian boys, a young one, Seth I think his name was, came into my home to talk to Charlie before James had taken the last of what I had left. What it was every person's right to have. Dignity._

_I made him swear not to tell my father what he saw, only that something had messed me up, I had him tell Charlie that he'd found me in the woods, passed out, and I pretended I couldn't remember anything. After that horrible, vile day, I trusted no one, spoke rarely, and if I did, it was usually to lash out. I wouldn't answer when my friends called, and eventually they stopped calling._

_They were called unfriends because they weren't there for me, through no fault of their own, I wouldn't let them in, not even Angela, it was her I hurt the most, but it was for the best._

"That's it Bella, You're going to see a psychiatrist!" Charlie slammed his palm flat on the table, startling me out of my slightly morbid reverie.

Naturally my immediate reaction was anger, "What the hell dad?! I'm not crazy! I am almost eighteen! You can't make me." I quickly grimaced at the 'You can't make me', it made me sound like I was five years old.

He sighed and ducked his head for a moment, when he looked back up, his eyes were sad, "I can't deal with this anymore Bells, you're either silent or screaming, maybe you should go live with your mom for awhile. Get some sun, meet some people. If you don't see your mom, at least see the shrink, I don't know what to do anymore Bella, I need a little help, I feel…like I'm failing with you."

"I'd really rather not go see mom, she would probably freak out, you know her." I said softly, "You're not failing dad, there's just a bunch of things I need to think about, and it's hard to. I'm trying to remember what happened, but I still can't."

Now Charlie sounded hopeful, "Will you at least see the psychiatrist? Just a few sessions! If it's truly that bad then we can stop, maybe go on vaction to see Renee, get some sun, have some fun…" He smiled weakly at the stupid rhyme.

I sighed, "If that's what you really want Dad, I'll go. When does it start?" In the back of my mind I was asking 'When does the torture start?' I had a sinking feeling that this would make it even harder on Charlie, because I could go and _see _a shrink, but no way in hell was I going to _talk _to one.

Charlie looked sheepish, "Actually…I had one scheduled to start in about an hour…" I glared at him, he was quick to apologise, "Sorry, sorry! But as I said before, I don't know how to deal with something like this."

Shaking my head, I stood, cleared my plate in the trash and said brusquely, "I'm going to get ready." I trudged upstairs. Not caring much who saw me, I threw on a pair of athletic shorts and a big hoodie over a tshirt, how l looked wasn't a priority anymore.

When I walked downstairs, Charlie had his gun belt on, "I have to go, something big just happened in Port Angeles, a murder, they say. I'm sorry honey, but there are directions on the table, you should leave now, get there a little early."

My rusty old truck roared to life when I pulled away from the street, I didn't even glance at the directions, I knew exactly where it was, everyone did, because in Forks, if you didn't know it's location, it didn't exist. I jumped out of the truck, slamming the door harder than necessary, it squealed. I practically stomped up to the reception desk.

A tall man with curly blond locks smiled at me, "Hello, how can I help you?" His voice was light, his eyes were a bright blue, he was muscular, things I noticed, but didn't dwell on, James ruined any chance of me wanting a relationship.

In uncharted territory, I bit my lip, "Apperently my father scheduled an appointment for me. Bella –Isabella- Swan is my name." I furrowed my brow at my choice of words, I sounded like a brat.

"Of course!" He scrolled through a list of what I assumed was a schedule, "Your appointment starts..right about now actually. Edward and Alice should be done in a moment."

I was confused, "Edward and Alice…?"

He smiled "How could I forget introductions? I'm Jasper, Alice, is a patient of Edwards, it's Edward you'll be seeing for your appointment." I froze in realization, my shrink was a _guy, _that made it worse, I already knew I wouldn't be saying anything to a mental health doctor, but a man mental health doctor? Hell no. "Is that a problem? I'm afraid he's only doctor that had a free slot for another patient. We could move some people around though…"

Not wanting him to trouble himself and/or other patients, I muttered, "No, it's fine, I guess."

A bronze haired man walked with a woman down the hallway, she was really short, and her hair was fluffed out a little oddly, but it looked _her. _"Now Al," The guy said quietly, putting his hands on her shoulders, "I want you to talk to him, the worst he can do is say no, and then, he doesn't know what he's missing, okay? Jazz is a good guy, the last thing he would do is reject you rudely, and if he does, come right back in and see me." She nodded and sat down in one of the chairs that lined the lobby.

Jasper hadn't been paying attention to them, I think he was still rambling about how it really wasn't a problem for him to move a few doctors' schedules around to get me a woman. The bronze haired man walked up, "I'm sorry Jasper, but I honestly don't remember who's next. "

He smiled, "That's because she's new, this is Bella Swan." Jasper gestured to me, handing the man a file.

The man turned to me, a huge smile on his face, "Hello Bella, it's nice to meet you, I'm Edward. If you don't like that, you can call me Dr. or Mr. Cullen, but I prefer Edward." He slowly lowered his hand when I stared at it, but his smile only faltered slightly, "Why don't we go into my office?"

Edward put a hand on my shoulder as he led me to wherever we were going, I fought not to shake him off and run away, crossing my arms around my stomach and digging my fingers into my sides. Noticing my rigid pose, he dropped his hand, walking ahead of me to lead the way, I didn't drop my arms, I was starting to freak out on priniple.

He held the door for me, a large oak one, with his name on it in gold, it led into a room with a dark leather couch, not the chaise I'd expected, there was a desk, and a chair behind it, but the armchair facing the couch looked more used. "You can sit on the couch." He smiled again as he sat down in the puffy armchair. Edward kicked off his shoes, I raised an eyebrow at him, "I hate shoes, you can take yours off too if you want." I didn't.

I sat down carefully, keeping my back ramrod straight, as I did with any guy that wasn't my father, "You can relax Bella, no one's here to hurt you, you can be comfortable here." I didn't relax, he didn't dwell on it, "Why don't you tell me about yourself?" I didn't answer, "What're you friends names?"

"Don't have any."

"Hobbies?" he pressed, happy that I'd finally spoken, my parents were spending money, I wouldn't reveal anything, just talking to the guy seemed okay.

I shook my head, "Reading, I guess."

"What genre is your favorite?"

"Classics."

"I quite agree with that." Edward nodded, "Boyfriends?" I didn't answer, "You know, a friend that's a boy, that you like more than a friend?"

"Be quiet."

"Pardon?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Shut up."

Edward didn't look taken aback, or even angry, he wrote something in his notebook and though for a moment, just looking out the window, "It's beautiful here this time of year, the snow, don't you think?"

"Not really. I hate snow."

Now he DID look taken aback.

* * *

Weird place to stop, I know. But it's Emily's twins birthday and I am NOT missing more cake. Emily wrote the first few chapters of this, as with my other story. Her birthday was yesterday (she was born right before midnight, Hannah right after.) a HUGE THANKS TO MISTIMASOCHIST Em's story is similar to hers and I'm grateful she's being so gracious about it. Em loves to hear that she gets reviews, she's in a tough spot with between her sibs right now.

Gracias, Thank you, de nada and all that jazz

SAM


	2. Chapter 2

Everyone,

I know you're pissed, and I'm sorry. So, I have an idea. Em, is going to read these to me - each of you who truly love either one of my stories, send me what you think should be the next chapter, like your draft, the entire thing. Write it your way, your style. And maybe, we'll have someone write every chapter, like a HUGE communal piece, I'll add a new one here and there. I'm getting better, I haven't told Em yet. My eyes have cleared up a bit and I can see a little. my sister helped me to the computer (thanks nan) and that's that. If you truly are still upset about me not writing it, (I will write and revamp some of what you do, but of course check with you first) let me know.

ALSO - hugely importante -

Em has started to write out on her own, I'm really proud of her. Her chapters are short, because she posts one every day, but it's REALLY good. And if you like my style of writing, you'll love hers. So please do us both the respect and honor of reading this.

So it got screwed up, it'll be on my page withing five minutes, bear with me.

I know, I thought the user name was weird too. But she sings and plays piano much better than me, so she deserves it, she also got in the musical at our hs, little shop of horrors :)

Peace

Sam

ps - sorrrrrrrrrry. I know I just posted this. Don't forget to email me your new chapters!


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